The Search for the Elliot Inheritance
by Jillvalentine44
Summary: Catherine Elliot, a sarcastic scoundrellous girl, gets help from Captain Jack Sparrow to find her uncle's inheritance. Similarities begin to show between Jack and Catherine - can they get along without killing each other?
1. Chapter 1

HEADS UP: This is NOT a sequel of The Bounty of Captain Bartholomeu Santara or The Gems of Roslynn. It's a standalone fic! Have fun!

Hey, it's me again! JillValentine44. Yeah, me. YAY for a new fic!! I got the idea from my friend, actually, who said that she didn't see Jack the way I did. In "Bounty" and the other fics following it, Jack is sort of a misunderstood, lonely pirate who is really a sweet romantic once he finds the right girl -- my friend saw Jack as a complete scoundrel who only cares for his ship and himself. That was inspiration and so was the song "Men Don't Change" by Amy Dalley. That song rocks. Ooh! And, of course, mostly by "Girls Lie, Too" by Terri Clark. That is the best video EVER!! And that song is totally true! Anyway, this is TOTALLY different from my other fics. I hope you enjoy it, though!

This chapter is pretty long, but I wanted to include a lot to hopefully get people interested. This is NOT A MARY SUE. I love Mary Sues, but this is not one!

BTW, thanks to my buddies: short one who I love too much! Fire -- you support me more than I deserve, love you! DAFTLIKESPARROW -- my long lost year apart twin! You inspire me so much, thank you! You rock, me heartie! I love your stories so much! Write forever and always keep in touch!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything "Pirates" related, I'm not affiliated with Disney or anything else I write about. I'm just a fangirl! Don't sue me!!!

ENJOY THE FIC!!!

Catherine Elliot walked determinedly through Tortuga, searching for a certain pirate to help her. She had long, straight, black hair and bright blue eyes. She was clad in a red dress that was fairly expensive-looking, and somewhat low-cut. She didn't look like she belonged in Tortuga, since most of the women in the town were whores, which she was not. She was fairly tall and slender and very pretty.

She entered the _Faithful Bride_ pub and scanned it for just the right scum. She found him.

"Jack Sparrow." she addressed, approaching him at the bar. Captain Jack Sparrow sat with a mug of rum next to several other pirates. Who doesn't know about Captain Jack Sparrow? The man's a legend! A good looking scoundrel with a famous ship who loved women and loved to drink.

"_Captain_ Jack Sparrow, love." he corrected.

"Whatever." she muttered. "Anyway, I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, well, then, let's get a room, darling, an' we'll talk." Jack told her with a smirk.

"Shut up." she ordered, scowling at him. "Look, I want to get into your ship, not get into your pants, you scalawag." He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I need a ship and I need your help. I'm Catherine Elliot, niece of Christopher Elliot who recently passed."

"Christopher Elliot?!" Jack exclaimed.

Christopher Elliot was one of the richest men in the Caribbean. If this girl was related to him, she _must_ be rich as well.

"Yes, and I'm his only living relative." she told him. "I've been left his inheritance. The only problem is... he's hidden it. He buried his fortune somewhere in the Caribbean, but only left me this letter." She pulled a piece of parchment out of her purse and unrolled it. "It says that he's left a string of clues for me to follow in order to find my inheritance, and I'll have to search the Caribbean for them. You help me find my inheritance and I'll cut you in twenty percent."

Jack considered this for a moment. "Fifty."

"Hell, no. Twenty five."

"Forty five." he insisted.

"Thirty." she stated. "It's my final offer."

"I want forty five." Jack said.

"Fine, I'm sure there's plenty of other pirates here who can take me." she told him, raising her eyebrows arrogantly.

Jack's mind wandered off of the real meaning of her sentence -- not "taking her" to her destination, or at least, the one she intended.

"What?" she asked, annoyed at how he was just staring at her. "What'd I say?" She thought over her sentence and found her mistake. "Oh, bloody -- take me to find the next clue, you disgusting pig."

"Er," he began, struggling to get his mind back out of the gutter, "I, er, still want thirty percent..."

"Deal." she said.

He thought about what he'd just said. "Wait! Not thirty! Forty five!"

"Sorry. I accepted the thirty." she stated. "Anyway, expect me on your ship at ten tomorrow morning." She turned on her heel and exited the bar.

The next morning, Catherine headed toward the docked Black Pearl, thinking about her plan.

'If this man is as much of a scoundrel as I hear,' she thought about Jack, 'then, I should be able to get exactly what I want. All I have to do is keep him thinking he'll get what he wants from me, and then, after I get my inheritance, I won't give it to him.'

She was intending to use her looks to keep Jack interested in helping her, but she certainly wasn't going to sleep with him -- please, got standards? If she can't get help honestly, then she'll just have to get some help dishonestly.

She stepped onto the ship at precisely ten o' clock and was greeted by Jack.

"Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, love." he told her.

"Thanks." she said flatly and he showed her to her room, which, not surprisingly, was right next to his.

"Unless, o' course, you want to share a room with me, love." he offered.

"Oh, please." she grumbled sarcastically. "Keep dreaming, Captain."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where I am." he told her.

"Oh, yes, I'll remember that." she said. "...If I ever decide I feel like committing a murder..." she mumbled.

"I'm the Captain, love, better respect me." he warned.

She wanted to say "Respect this!" and do an obscene gesture, but she really did need his help if she wanted to find her inheritance, so she restrained herself. She wasn't starting off very well... she needed to make sure that he would keep helping her...

"Ooh, _Captain_..." she purred. "What power you must have."

"O' course." he said, attempting to make himself look more manly -- she obviously didn't fall for it. "Enough power to take a few hours away from me busy schedule to... entertain anyone I want."

"Maybe later." she said, smiling, and raised her eyebrows suggestively. She walked into her room and shut the door.

'Wow," Jack thought, 'that girl really goes hot and cold. Insults me one minute, then almost takes me up on my offer the next...' He sauntered off, up on deck.

After Catherine got herself situated and unpacked, she went up on deck with her uncle's letter.

"Okay," she began, pulling the parchment out of her purse, and about to read it to Jack, "let's see... It says: '_Catherine, my dear, your inheritance is near, all you must do is solve the clues._'

"Does 'e always rhyme like this?" Jack asked.

"I suppose." she replied, wanting to get back to reading the letter. "'_Rosalia town is sweeter than sweet, there is where the clue you'll meet. All you have to figure out, is where in God's Name that clue is waiting about. Watch with the crows and then, who knows?'_"

"Well, 'e certainly wasn' a poet." Jack said.

"I don't care, I just want my money -- I mean," she hesitated, "I just want my uncle's money to be well taken care of." She smiled a fake smile.

"Believe me, love, I can't wait to get that thirty percent o' mine." Jack told her.

"Anyway, let's get going to Rosalia." she said. "On our way, we'll figure out this clue."

They set off toward Rosalia and Jack and Catherine stood at the helm, deciphering the clue.

" 'Where in God's Name...'" Catherine contemplated. "Maybe a church?"

"That's too blunt." Jack said. "I doubt it would be that easy to figure out."

"Well, fine, what's your bright idea?"

"Hm... 'God's Name...' Why would he capitalize that?" Jack pondered.

"Well, Jack," she began as if he were an idiot, "you tend to capitalize things like that, names of gods and--"

"Tha's not what I mean." Jack said, ignoring her. "I mean, why would he capitalize the word 'name?' Christopher Elliot was a very intelligent man from what I know, an'... 'e wouldn' jus' make a mistake like that..."

"So, you're saying that's deliberate, then?" Catherine asked. "Why, though?"

"I don' know." he replied.

"And what about the crow thing?" she asked. "I mean, what does that mean?"

"Well, I guess we'll find out when we get to Rosalia, eh?"

They arrived in Rosalia the next day and Jack and Catherine went out looking for anything they could that even remotely was related to the clue. They walked through the streets, looking around like mad people.

"Where do crows go?" Catherine asked, thinking.

"I don' know, to trees?" Jack suggested with a hint of sarcasm.

"Crows look at a lot of things..." Catherine said. "What could they see that we can't?"

"I don' know..."

"Well, let's see..." Catherine contemplated. "'God's Name...' Maybe a church or something?"

"I suppose anything's worth a try." Jack said. "Let's go."

They headed off to the nearest church and snooped around outside of it.

"What do crows see that we can't normally see at a church?" Catherine asked. "...Crows mostly just sit in trees all the time... That's it! Jack, climb up that tree!" she ordered, pointing to a large palm tree next to a window of the church.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "I'm a Sparrow, not a monkey!"

"Ha ha, you're so clever." she said flatly and unenthusiastically. "Anyway, do you want to find the clue or not? You said anything's worth a try! Get up there!"

"Why do I 'ave to?"

"I'm in a dress, what do you want me to do? Show the world what's under it?" she asked, annoyed.

"Well..."

"Wait! Don't you _dare _answer that -- we're on church grounds, you rotten scoundrel!" Catherine cried. "Anyway, hurry up, and climb up there! We don't have all day!"

Jack walked over to the tree, grumbling and looking severely annoyed and began to climb it. He struggled a bit to get up but finally was able to make it to a branch at the top. He looked around, trying to spot something conspicuous.

"Do you see anything?" she yelled.

"No!" he yelled back. "There's nothing' I can see from 'ere that I couldn' see from the ground!"

"Nothing?!" she yelled.

"Nothing!" he yelled back.

"Ugh, fine, then, hurry up and get down!" she yelled. "We haven't searched the docks yet!"

He began to get out of the tree when he realized that his coat had gotten stuck on a small branch. He yanked at it, but for some reason, could _not_ get it unstuck.

"What are you doing up there?" she yelled. "Get down! Hurry! I'm getting hungry -- it's almost lunch, you know!"

"Well, I would, but I'm stuck!" he yelled.

"You're what?"

"I'm stuck! My coat is stuck on a branch!"

"Well, just leave it there!"

"NO!" he protested. "This is my coat! I've had this coat for years! Through many adventures!"

"Yeah, yeah, save the Napoleon gab, just hurry up and get your coat loose!" she ordered.

"I can't!" he yelled.

"What do you mean you can't?" she asked.

"I can't reach it!"

"What?!"

"You're goin' to 'ave to come up an' 'elp me!" he yelled.

"I can't climb up there!" she yelled back.

"Yes, you can! It's very easy!"

"Easy for you!"

"Well, love," he began, "you 'ave two choices: you can either 'elp me get down or stay 'ere an' complain until I go mad an' shoot meself! So decide!"

She sighed, irritated. "Damn it!" her eyes widened. "Oh! I'm sorry!" she cried, and made the sign of the cross.

"Wait!" he yelled. "I think I got it!" He reached up and out to a smaller branch and scooted out more on the one he was sitting on. "Oh, bloody--"

CRACK! SNAP! THUD!

Catherine ran, laughing, over to Jack, who was now on the ground with a pile of branches and leaves.

"Lose your balance?" she asked haughtily.

"No." he replied defiantly. "I jus' decided that this was the quickest way to get down."

"Yeah, and you're a gentleman, too." she said sarcastically. "Please."

He got up and brushed himself off.

"I'm hungry." she stated.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack said, holding out his hand to her.

"Shut up -- don't patronize me." she told him, irritated. She sighed. "Well, let's go eat before we say anything else that's unacceptable on church grounds."

They left the grounds (after Catherine made the sign of the cross again), and headed back to the Pearl. As they were walking along the docks, Jack noticed something.

"'ey... that ship..." he pointed to a large, old, brown ship.

"It's ugly -- what about it?" she asked.

"It's name is 'God's Name.'" Jack told her.

"Oh, my! I'm sorry! It's not ugly!" Catherine cried and made the sign of the cross again.

"Come on, darling, you're religious like I'm celibate."

"I think the odds favor me on that one." she said bluntly. "And I am, too."

"Whatever, sweetheart." he dismissed. "Anyway, the ship. 'God's Name...' It's got to be there."

"This ship is huge -- where is it?" she asked.

"Bloody 'ell if I know."

"You know, you really shouldn't say things like that around a lady." Catherine said. What a hypocrite.

"Well, I don' say things like that around ladies." he told her.

She scoffed. "You'd better watch it or I'll--"

"You'll what?" he asked.

"It's a surprise." she replied. "But I can tell you you won't like it."

He raised an eyebrow and abandoned the subject. "Anyway, let's see... where do crows go?"

"Er... to their nests?" Catherine asked, oblivious.

Jack paused, thinking. "That's it!"

Catherine's brow furrowed confusedly. Jack sauntered aboard the empty ship and started to climb up the rigging. He climbed up to the crow's nest and got inside as Catherine went to the mast to wait for him. After a moment, he climbed back down... with the next clue!

"You found it?!" she cried excitedly. He handed her a rolled up piece of parchment.

"The crow's nest -- I should've known." Jack said obviously.

"Oh, is that what that's called?" Catherine asked. "I just remember that every time someone was up there, they always yelled 'land ho!'" Jack stared at her, seeing no point to her sentence. "What?" she asked, annoyed. "Were you expecting philosophy? Who am I? Confucius?" she snorted. "Anyway, let's see what this next clue is." She unrolled the parchment and read it aloud. "'_Okay, I can't think of a rhyme for you, Catherine, sorry -- I'm not a poet. Well, here's a riddle, anyway. The Oasis waits for you. Watch out for number one and don't lose your light._' What's that mean?!"

"I suppose we'll figure it out when we get back to the Pearl." Jack said.

"Yeah, I'm hungry." Catherine told him.

They made their way back to the ship and did not notice the two men sitting on the docks nearby, fishing. They were both dressed like pirates, but no one paid any attention to them if they didn't cause a stir. One man had brown hair and the other black.

"That must be her!" one of the men said.

"Must be." the other confirmed.

"So, what do we do, George?" the one asked.

"We follow them, John. Obviously." George replied, annoyed.

"Oh, yeah." John said.

"Get the crew." George ordered.

After dinner, Jack and Catherine were up on deck and it started to rain.

"Damn, my hair is going to get all wet!" Catherine exclaimed.

"Don' you like the rain?" Jack asked.

"Love it. From the _inside_."

"Well, anyway, I'll walk you to your room, if you like." he offered.

She thought for a moment. "Do you have any rum?" she asked curiously.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Aye..."

"Well, can I have some?"

Thinking this might be his chance to get lucky, he went down to the galley and got a bottle of rum for her. He took it to her room and sat down with her to have a drink.

"Don' drink too much, love -- don' want to get drunk, do you?" he asked. Yeah, he really didn't want her to -- sure, yeah.

"I can handle as much rum as you can." she said, drinking down another swig of rum.

Jack chuckled. "I don' think so, darling, I've been drinkin' for years."

"And I haven't?"

She suddenly thought of something: that beautiful dress in the dress shop she'd passed. Oh, how she wanted it... but what money did she have now? She couldn't wait until she got her inheritance to buy it... Jack wouldn't _give_ it to her... Well... she shouldn't do what she was thinking... Stealing isn't very nice... But he's a pirate... it'd be doing the town some good -- punishing criminals.

She was wearing her red, low cut dress and a shawl around her shoulders. The dress was off the shoulder -- that should do. She got up and paced to the window, looking out. She pulled the shawl off her shoulders and tossed it onto a chair and looked back at Jack.

"You should see this rain -- it's amazing." she said, and looked back out the window. She made her dress a little more low-cut as Jack joined her at the window. "I really do like the rain, from inside... It's very romantic, you know." She looked at him. "You know, you really are rather handsome..." she put her arms around his waist and he put his arms around her.

"An' if there's a Cleopatra alive anywhere, it's got to be you, darling." he told her.

She smiled and ran her tongue along her teeth suggestively. She grabbed hold of his braided beard and pulled him into a kiss.

'Okay, let's see...' she thought. 'Where does he keep his money?' She slipped a hand into his right jacket pocket. 'Not there...' She searched his left pocket. 'Damn.' She ran a hand down his chest and searched the right inside pocket of his jacket and found what she was looking for. She pulled out a bag of gold and dropped it in her purse. 'Score.' He kissed her neck. 'Getting bored now... I want to go and get that dress.'

"You know, Jack, I just don't think this is the right time for this." she stated, slowly pushing him away.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because." she replied.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Because!" she exclaimed. "You know, I think I'm going to go into town while you cool down." He questioned her with his eyes. "I think I just made a mistake. I'm sorry." she smiled arrogantly and walked to the door. She stopped and looked back coolly. "Maybe you should have a bit of rum to calm down, huh?" she raised her eyebrows pompously and left the room.

'What is _with_ that girl?!' Jack thought, taking a large gulp of rum.

Ah! First chappy! How do you like it? Different from my other stuff! But I love this one! I write to please others, so I hope you love it!! PLEASE REVIEW!! I get inspired by reviews and get more enthusiastic about writing! So, please review! Hannon le!!

"We can't wait to hear about your round of golf, love to see dear heads hanging on the walls and we like Hooters for their hot wings, too. Other guys never cross our minds, we don't wonder what it might be like. How could it be any better than it is with you? Girls lie, too. We don't care how much money you make, what you drive or what you weigh. Size don't matter anyway. Don't think you're the only ones who bend it, break it stretch it some. We learn from you. Girls lie, too!"

--"Girls Lie, Too" Terri Clark


	2. Chapter 2

Yay for another chapter! I'm glad that I got so much positive feedback from this fic. I've been doing my best to update as soon as I can, but "things get in the way, the rush of everyday, ordinary stuff we all get into." (-- "I Meant To" by Brad Cotter). So, you know. Anyway, thanks to Short One, DAFTLIKESPARROW, Chelle, and PARIS BYK for reviewing! I love my reviewers! Yay for reviewing! And don't forget to review again! Yay! I love you all! Enjoy!

Catherine walked down the street, rain falling down on her, but she didn't care. She'd gotten that new _gorgeous _dress she'd been wanting! She'd put it in several boxes so that it wouldn't get wet. Okay, so she didn't really get the money for it honestly, but... anything for fashion.

Suddenly, she stopped. She heard footsteps behind her and they stopped just as she did. She started walking again and heard the footsteps again. She looked back and saw a suspicious looking man following her. She stopped and turned around.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" she asked him -- he was about ten feet away from her.

"Pardon me?" he asked.

"Don't 'pardon me'... me!" she exclaimed. "I know when someone's following me, alright? So you can just go off that way now."

"Miss, I didn't mean to--" he began, taking a step towards her, but she interrupted him.

"Well, if you didn't mean to, then you'll find another way to get where you're going." He took another step toward her. "Back off!" she ordered, taking a few steps back. He kept coming toward her. She reached into the ruffles of the skirt of her dress and pulled out a pistol and aimed it at him; he froze. "Give me a reason, buddy."

"Miss, I do not mean to hurt you." he assured.

"Well, then, shove off!" she yelled. He took another step forward. "I swear, give me a reason and I'll put a kneecap in disrepair." He froze. "Give me a damn reason." She curled her lip in annoyance. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, back off before you lose a leg." He reluctantly turned around. "Uh, huh!" he started to walk off in the other direction. "Keep walking, buddy!" She snorted in irritancy and turned to walk back to the Pearl, pistol still in hand.

She hurried back to the ship -- not in fear of the man, but in fear of her dress getting wet. She went aboard and down to her room. She hurried into her room, shut the door, and immediately changed into her new dress. It was red with black lace lining and fringes, and was very low-cut (what else is new?). She was just about to zip up the back of the dress when the door flew open.

"GAH!" Catherine exclaimed, spinning around to face the intruder -- it was Jack. "What the hell are you doing?! Have you heard of knocking?!"

"Yes, I 'ave, thanks for askin'." Jack replied calmly.

"Do you have any damn manners?!" she cried.

"Yes, I do, I jus' 'ave better people to waste 'em on." he told her. "An' do you 'ave to curse so much?"

"The hell I do." she said, annoyed. "Anyway," she began in a lighter tone (got over that fast), "while you're here, will you zip me up?" She turned around and Jack did as she asked.

"So, where 'ave you been, love?" he asked.

"I told you I was going into town." she replied.

"Righ'." he recalled. "This is a nice dress. Is it new?"

"Yes, I just bought it." she told him.

"With what money, might I ask?" he asked.

"With mine." she lied.

"So, stealin' somethin' makes it yours?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, playing oblivious.

"It seems that I 'ave misplaced a little bag o' gold that I 'ad when I went into your room earlier today." he told her. "An' when I left, it wasn' in my pocket..."

"Are you accusing me of stealing?" she asked, pretending to be offended.

"Well, yes." he confirmed. "Can't escape this, love. I know you stole it." She stared at him, trying to come up with an excuse. "So, jus' give back what you 'ave an' there'll be no 'ard feelin's, savvy?" She looked guiltily at him for a moment and then reached into her purse and pulled out ten shillings and placed them in his hand. "This is all?"

"Yes."

"There were _five_ gold pieces in there!" he exclaimed. "_This_ is all that's left?!"

"Well... it was a very expensive dress..." she told him. And before he had a chance to yell any more, she added: "And it came with that adorable parasol and purse!" she pointed to the items on her bed.

He looked as if he were going to explode. "You spent... five pieces of gold... ON A DRESS?!"

"Well... look how pretty it is." she told him. "And don't I just look _gorgeous_ in it?"

He closed his eyes. "No -- you can't get out of this." he said. "If I keep my eyes closed, there's no way you can get out of this."

"What are you going to do to me?" she asked softly.

"Well, I, er, you could do some work on the ship..." he told her.

"Oh, I'm not a very good worker." she said. "I'm sure I can do something else."

"The only other thing you can do is cook." he said, eyes still closed. "I won' let you do anythin' else -- I know what you're tryin' to do."

"And what is that?" she asked softly.

"Nope, I'm jus' goin to keep me eyes closed..."

She put her arms around his neck. "Open or closed, it feels the same." she said, and kissed him.

"Stop -- this isn' okay..." he muttered.

"Seems like we both benefited from those five pieces of gold, wouldn't you say?" she asked.

"No." he replied staunchly. "Look, why didn' you jus' uhsk flmmny..." he muttered as she kissed him. He cleared his throat. "Why didn' you jus' _ask_ for some money?"

"Would you have given it to me?" she asked skeptically, and kissed his jaw.

"Well, tha's not the point -- you still should've asked." he told her.

"I'm sorry." she said in an unusually sweet tone. "I've learned my lesson." she kissed the corner of his mouth.

'I hope he's buying this..." she thought.

He pushed her away and opened his eyes. "This is not alrigh'..."

"I'm sorry." she told him and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I'm such a bad girl." She grabbed the hem of the skirt of her dress and began to pull it up.

"What are you doin'?" he asked warily.

She pulled the skirt up to her knee; she had a pistol strapped to her calf. "Just taking off these uncomfortable guns." She removed the gun and pulled the dress up almost to her hip, revealing another gun strapped to her thigh.

"Shiver me timbers, you 'ave a lot o' guns." he told her. "What do you need so many for?"

"A girl's got to protect herself, doesn't she?" he asked.

"You can protect a small army with the arsenal you've got under there, darling." he replied sarcastically.

"You should see what else I've got under here." she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. "Besides, you can never have enough guns, I always say." she told him, removing the other gun. "Anyway, can you _ever_ forgive me for what I did?" she asked, conveniently not bothering to move her dress from its current location.

"Er--"

"And don't make me do ship work -- I'm not good at that kind of stuff. I have to preserve my looks, you know," she said, running a hand up her leg, "and who knows what could happen on the deck of a ship."

He took a deep breath and spoke. "I'm jus' goin' to leave before somethin' 'appens... Fine, you're forgiven. Jus' quit stealin' from people!"

"I'll do my best." she replied and he left the room. She snickered.

'Success.' she thought.

The next day, after breakfast, Catherine went up on deck and went to Jack at the helm.

He glanced at her and then returned his gaze to the ocean.

"So, where are we going?" she asked him. "The clue didn't tell us where."

"Yes, it did." he replied. "There's a town called Oasis near Port Royal."

"Oh?" she asked. "I've never heard of it."

He stared out at the ocean, avoiding looking at her.

She smiled. "You alright, Captain? You seem a little distant."

"No -- nothin's wrong. I'm not distant." he answered sharply. She gave up the pursuit and decided to stop bothering him.

They arrived in Oasis that evening, and docked in the port. They went into town and looked around, searching for anything clue-related.

They ventured out into an alley, looking to take a shortcut into the middle of town when, suddenly, a man came out of nowhere and grabbed Catherine from behind. He held a long sword to her neck and held her around the waist. Jack froze, not wanting to cause the man to hurt Catherine.

"What the hell are you doing?" Catherine asked quietly, voice shaking.

"Threatening you." the man answered. He had long brown hair that was tied back and dark brown eyes.

"What do you want?" Jack asked.

"I want you to lead me to the next clue." the man replied.

"'ow do you--" Jack began, but the man cut him off.

"No time. Just go and find the next clue, Sparrow. I'll be here with your girl when you get back."

"I'm not his--"

"Shut up!" the man ordered. "Well, Sparrow?"

Jack looked at Catherine with worry in his eyes. She nodded an okay.

"Fine." Jack said.

"Okay, be on your way." the man told him. Jack turned and began to walk away.

"Sir?" Catherine asked the man. "May I turn around?"

"Why?"

"Just to see the face of my captor." she replied.

"Well, I suppose..." he agreed hesitantly. He realized she probably wasn't much of a threat and removed the sword from her throat. She turned to him.

"You know, sir, I'm sure we could... settle this matter to your liking..." she told him, moving close to him. She put a hand behind her back and slipped it under one of the ruffles; she pulled out a pistol. "I could also give you some advice... simply..." she leaned up against him. "Go to hell." She put the pistol to his stomach and pulled the trigger.

BANG!

He fell to the ground with a thud.

"Who's threatening who?" she asked and snorted. She returned the gun to the ruffles of the dress and pulled out another from another ruffle. She walked off to find Jack. Just then, it started to rain.

'Damn.' she thought.

Luckily, she caught him just as he exited a shop in the center of town.

"Jack!" she cried. He saw her and ran over.

"What 'appened?" he asked urgently. "Where's that man?"

"Dead now." she replied, holding up her pistol.

"You killed 'im?" he asked. "'ow?"

"My usual tactics." she told him. "Men are so weak. I simply distracted him for long enough to blow his guts out."

"Oh, 'ow comfortin'." Jack said. "Anyway, I still can't figure out this clue."

"Oh, how comforting -- I would've been killed by that guy by now!" she told him.

"'ey, can _you _figure it out?" he asked. She thought for a moment.

"No idea." she replied. "Maybe we could ask someone..."

"We can't do that!" Jack contradicted. "This isn' somethin' we can yell out to the world -- that man knew! We can't let that 'appen again."

"Right." Catherine said. "Well, I don't know... Have you seen any -- WOAH!"

Just then, three men came charging at them with swords drawn.

"DAMN!" Catherine yelled. Jack pulled out his sword and began fencing with them, and Catherine ran to the other side of the plaza. She aimed her gun at one of the attackers and shot him in the chest. Jack fought with two men, panicking and dodging around.

"A little 'elp, love?!" he yelled.

"I'm getting there!" she yelled back. "Keep your pants on!" Jack found that this would be a great opportunity for a joke, but considering the circumstances, he refrained. Suddenly, Catherine shot at an enemy and hit him in the thigh. He fell. Jack dispatched the other. She joined Jack by the writhing man.

"You missed, darling." he teased.

"Bloody hell I did." she said. "I meant to only wound him so we could question him obviously." She knelt next to the man, putting her pistol away and pulling out another. She put the pistol to the man's head.

"'ow many guns do you 'ave, sweetheart?" he asked incredulously.

"Seven." she answered casually. "Lucky number." She turned back to the man. "Who the hell are you and why are you trying to kill us?" The man scowled at her, wincing. She put the pistol to his kneecap. "You want to tell me?" The man stayed silent. "Oh, I swear I'll do it." The man still scowled at her. She shook her head. "You asked for it, buddy." She shot the man in the knee and he yelled. Jack looked fairly surprised at her violence. "Okay, so you want to tell me now?" she asked, pulling out a pistol that was strapped to her calf; she held it to the man's head. "Who the hell are you?"

The man winced and spoke. "I'm part of George Boyens's crew. He wants to find your uncle's fortune..."

"Damn him." Catherine muttered. "Hell if I'm giving that money up. Well, I'll make you a deal, sir. I won't blow your brains out, if you crawl back to your master and tell him to piss off." The man winced and Catherine got up. "Come on, Jack, there's got to be something to this clue."

Jack nodded and the began to walk through town.

"Hey, why didn't anyone come out to investigate all the shootings?" Catherine asked.

"It 'appens a lot 'ere -- they don' even care anymore." Jack replied.

"Oh!!!" Catherine exclaimed.

"What?!" Jack asked urgently.

"Look!" she pointed to an inn. It was called _The Oasis_. "The Oasis in Oasis? How original."

"Shall we go in?" Jack asked.

"No, we should just stand outside and wait for the clue to kick us in the arse." she said sarcastically. "What the hell do you think?"

He curled his lip, annoyed.

"So 'number one' must be a room number." Catherine concluded. "We'll have to get it."

They entered the bar and went up to the desk. A woman was sitting behind it with a piece of parchment.

"Erm, excuse me," Catherine said to the woman, "we'd like to get a room please."

The woman looked up. "You two have baggage?" she asked. "We don't want any riffraff going on."

"Oh, well, you see, we are just stuck here." Catherine explained. "We live in Port Royal, but it's raining and we can't get back." The woman looked at her skeptically and then decided to accept her story.

"Well, then, sign in here, please." the woman said and pushed the parchment toward Jack. He picked up a quill, dipped it in ink, and started to sign them in. He figured it was best to sign them as a married couple, since it wouldn't look very good to get a room if they weren't married. He signed them in as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Catherine curled her lip in annoyance.

"Oh, and, can we possibly have room number one?" Catherine asked. "It's an old superstition -- get room number one if you're ever stuck in another city in the rain."

"I've never heard that." the woman said.

"Oh, well, er, we are very superstitious, you know, and we wouldn't be able to have any other room." Catherine told her.

The woman raised an eyebrow at her, but pulled the key for room number one off the hook on the wall and handed it to Catherine.

"Enjoy your stay." the woman said.

Jack and Catherine went upstairs and into room number one and looked around. Catherine looked out the window and saw that it had started to storm really badly.

"Jack!" she cried. "I think we're actually stuck here!"

"Great." Jack said flatly. "Anyway, let's look for the clue." Catherine nodded and they began to search the room.

" 'Don't lose your light...'" Catherine mumbled thoughtfully. "I suppose that would have something to do with a lamp or something..." They searched all the lamps in the room and found no evidence of the clue. Catherine sighed and lied down on the bed.

"Give up?" Jack asked.

"No." she replied. "We have quite a long time here, you know, I'll search more later."

Jack lied down on the bed next to her.

"Don't you get any ideas." she said, glancing at him.

"Oh, I got ideas a long time ago, darling." he replied with a smirk. She curled her lip, annoyed. Jack thought for a moment. "Can I ask you somethin', love?"

"No, I will not, you scoundrel." she replied, before he could answer.

"Tha's not what I was goin' to ask!" he told her. "But that does answer a question tha's been burnin' in me mind for quite a while. Anyway, I jus' wanted to know why you stole that gold from me the other day."

"I wanted that dress." she replied.

"But if you're Christopher Elliot's niece, then why did you need money?" he asked. "I thought you'd be rich."

She sighed. "Alright. Whatever. Here's the truth about me. I'm a stable girl, alright? I work at the Faithful Bride."

"You _work_ there?" he asked.

"Not _that_ kind of work! Who do you think I am!?" Catherine said, offended. "When I do it, it's because I _want_ to -- not for money (as much as I love it), that's sick. Anyway, as I said, I'm just a stable girl."

"What about your parents?" Jack asked.

"Haven't seen them for twenty years."

"_Twenty years_?!" Jack exclaimed. "'ow old are you?"

"How polite." Catherine muttered. "Twenty five. Anyway, I was left with the people who originally owned the Faithful Bride and I've always worked as a stable girl. My uncle never sent me a shilling." Jack looked at her, interested in her story. "Then my new guardians were killed by a band of pirates and I was left completely on my own."

"Pirates?" Jack asked. "An' you're throwin' in your lot with me?"

"_You_ didn't kill them." Catherine said. "It would be ignorant to hate all pirates for what only a few did. That's like saying that just because I'm half Italian, that _all_ half Italians are sluts."

"You're not a slut." Jack lied.

"Don't kid yourself -- I'm a slut and you're glad." she stated. He didn't contradict her. "Anyway, that's my stupid story." She looked up at the ceiling and yelled.

"What?!" Jack asked.

Catherine jumped up. "The chandelier! The clue is wrapped around the chain that's holding it!"

Jack got up and pulled a chair next to it. He got up on it and pulled the clue from the chandelier and went to Catherine to open it.

" '_Catherine, here's another clue -- do with it what you will do_.'" she read.

"Oh, no, 'e's rhymin' again..." Jack muttered.

"'_The pirate's grave is where you'll find another piece of mind. Another route to state your path, another way to deal with Wrath. Just outside of Ruby Falls is the place where the next clue calls. The pirate got a true burial at sea, so where's his grave going to be? There, my dear, you're on your own, now is your chance to let your intelligence be shown. Don't be afraid to open a coffin -- soon you'll be able to buy your own ship to sail off in._'"

"The guy was nuts." Jack said bluntly.

"Who cares -- he was rich as hell." Catherine added. She set the clue on the bedside table and lied back down on the bed. "You want to know why I picked _you _of all pirates to help me, Jack?" she asked as he lied down on the bed as well. "I had, of course, heard all the stories about your adventures, but... mainly because I'd heard how handsome you were."

"Well, you 'eard righ', wouldn' you say, darling?" he asked arrogantly.

"I suppose I did hear right." she replied. "But don't you dare get any ideas because--"

Just then, he leaned over and kissed her. Her eyes widened in surprise.

'Why am I letting him do this?!' she thought. 'I shouldn't be letting him do this! Who does he think he is? The bloody King of Spain?!' He unzipped the back of her dress.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, pushing him away. "Who do you think you are? The bloody King of Spain?! Get away from me."

"No, I jus' think I'm... Captain Jack Sparrow." he replied coolly. She looked at him.

'Damn, he's charming... Damn... Damn... Damn...' she thought. He kissed her. 'Damn... Damn... Damn... Damn... Damn... ...Damn... ... ... ...Damn...'

Okay, yes, a bit suggestive here, but, you know, it happens. Catherine and Jack are both scoundrels. It was bound to happen sometime! You can't deny it! Anyway, at least I only imply, I never paint a picture -- no one wants to know! So, keep reading please! And I hope you all enjoyed it! Wit is hard to do! I'm workin' hard for you guys! :-D

PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

YAY FOR A NEW CHAPTER!! YAY! FINALLY! Okay, well, first, I have to thank short one, Mia Chelle, and, of course, my long lost year apart inspiring great writer twin DAFTLIKESPARROW. I love you all!!! ENJOY THE NEW CHAPPY!

Catherine woke up and looked at the ceiling tiredly. She suddenly remembered the night before and glanced down at Jack, who had his arms wrapped around her. He was almost cute. But she didn't get attached to people like that -- there's nothing wrong with a little good time, but she just didn't care about anything but money and herself. Hey, Jack is the same way: cares only for himself, money, and his ship.

'And I said I wasn't going to sleep with him... Damn...' she thought.

"Hey." Catherine said, patting Jack's cheek. "Hey, Sweetbuns, wake up." Jack tiredly opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"Oh, 'ey, love." he mumbled sleepily. "'as it stopped stormin' yet?"

"It's still raining a little," she replied, looking out the window, "but we can leave, anyway."

"I don' know, I kind o' enjoyed the stay." he said with a smirk.

"I know -- I'm so good." she replied casually. "And I have to say, I had quite a bit of fun buckling your swash." He laughed. "Anyway, suppose we should leave, huh?"

"Suppose so." he said.

"Oh, by the way, tell anyone about this and I'll rip your throat out." she told him matter-of-factly. "And don't tell anyone and then pretend you didn't -- a woman knows."

"I'll remember that... You know, maybe we shouldn' leave jus' yet..." he said, putting his lips to her neck.

She sighed. "Just like a man. What? You think you can buy one get one free? I don't think so." Suddenly, her eyes widened as she looked at the bedside table. "WHERE IS IT?!"

"What?!" Jack asked in alarm.

"The clue! It's gone!" she cried.

"No! I-I saw you put it on the table!" he exclaimed. "It must be around here somewhere!"

"Well, if you'd let go of me for long enough, I'll look!" she said. He let her go and she wrapped a sheet around her and got up. "Damn... I don't see it..." She got on the floor and looked under the bed and all around the table. "Where the hell is it?!"

"You don' think someone..."

"Snuck in and stole it?!" she cried. "Oh, no! Damn! Do you remember the clue?"

"Well, I remember what 'appened _after_ the clue, but--"

"Damn!" she exclaimed. "Oh... something about... Cleopatra -- wait, no, that was after! This is all _your _fault!"

"_My_ fault?!" he asked as Catherine began to get dressed.

"Yes! If you hadn't been so damn charming, we--"

"_Me_?!" he asked incredulously. "It was you who was so bloody attractive!"

"And I can help that?!"

"Yes, you don' 'ave to encourage it."

"_What_?!" she cried. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"Well, I can tell you that if you 'adn' seduced me, we wouldn' be in this situation!"

"_Me_ seduce _you_?!" she yelled. "I don't think so! It was all you, Mr. Strong Masculine Sun-tanned Tall And Handsome Pirate!"

"'ey, you've been hintin' at it since the day we met!"

"Well, excuse me if I just happen to be a very beautiful and attractive girl!" she cried. "And what the hell are you doing? We need to hurry up! Put some pants on! Yeesh!"

After all was set, they hurried out of the room, paid the bill, and hurried back to the ship. They set sail towards Ruby Falls, hoping to run into Boyens and his crew, and a few hours later, they did. They came upon a ship with the name Boyens carved into the back.

"How stupid -- can you say 'giveaway?'" Catherine said bitterly as they came up alongside the ship.

A moment later, the other ship dropped anchor -- the Pearl did the same. The captain of the other ship grabbed onto a rope and swung across to the Pearl.

"Showoff..." Catherine mumbled. Jack and Catherine went to speak with him.

"Did you get my message?" Catherine asked, faking sweet.

"I did, and how heartfelt it was." the captain replied sarcastically. " George Boyens; and you must be Catherine. You are quite lovely."

"I know." she replied. "Now, why don't you give us back our clue before you get your head blown off."

"Or worse--" Jack added, "we could attack your ship." Catherine looked at him inquisitively, but returned her glare to Boyens.

"I don't think I can give you the clue back." Boyens told her. "You see, we need it."

"_You_ need it? Hell, _we_ need it!" Catherine exclaimed. "Give it back or you'll be sorry."

Boyens laughed. "We don't even have it anymore. We burned it after my first mate memorized it."

Catherine gasped. "Damn you!!"

"Yes, I get that a lot." he told her. "Sorry." He quickly grabbed onto a rope and swung back to his ship before anyone could catch him.

"Damn it!!" Catherine yelled. "Attack their ship!! Load the cannons and attack!!"

"Aye, attack!" Jack confirmed. The crew ran below deck and, after they pulled up the anchor, began to prepare an attack. There was no way that Boyens's ship could beat the Black Pearl -- they had an advantage. After a few moments, they began to fire on Boyens's ship, but it didn't seem to do much good and they ran out of ammunition soon after the attack began. They hadn't needed it for so long, they'd just forgotten to restock.

It was a day and a half journey to Ruby Falls and they had to beat Boyens. They set sail at top speed away from Oasis.

That night, Catherine went to Jack's quarters to speak with him about the journey.

"You know, love," he said to her, "I don't know if this is even worth it..."

"Christopher Elliot!" she exclaimed. "Richest man in the Caribbean! Money! Uhh!" she whined. "You can't turn that down!"

"I don' know, darling... it's so much trouble... an' I already 'ave a lot of money..." Jack told her.

"So, what?" she cried. "You can never have too much money!"

"I don' know... I'm goin' to 'ave to think about continuin' this..." Jack said.

"And what am I supposed to do?" she asked. "Go after it myself? I don't think so!"

"You can always join me crew, sweetheart." he told her. "You jus' 'ave to do a little more work."

She scoffed. "Join your crew as what? Your woman-slave? No!"

"No, you can jus'... 'elp, I don' know! I'll figure somethin' out!"

"Please, Jack!" she pleaded (lying). "Please help me find my inheritance! I deserve it -- I _need_ it! I can't spend my whole life being a stable girl!"

'Got to think of something fast -- got to think of something fast.' Catherine thought.

"I don't want to be just _any _girl... I-I want to be _your_ girl." she lied, putting her arms around his neck. "I want to be the only one in your life -- and you the only one in mine."

'I hope _this _keeps him hooked...' she thought.

"Please, Jack." she said.

He sighed. "Sure, darling." he told her. Not only did he like her company very much, but he also felt pretty sorry for her.

"So, you'll help me?" she asked.

"Yeah." he replied.

"Thank you, Jack." she said and kissed him. "So... to Ruby Falls, then!" She grinned excitedly, let go of him, and went to the door. "Come on!"  
"We 'ave time to spare, love..." he said, suggesting...

"This is too nerve racking -- I can't stay down here and snog you until we get to Ruby Falls!" she told him. "Come on!"

"Later, then?" he asked.

"Sure, come on!" she hurried out of his room and up on deck, he followed.

"So," she began, up on deck, "if we can recall the clue... we should be able to beat them to the next one... Can you remember it at all?"

"Well, I remember..."

"What happened after, I know, I know." she dismissed.

"Well, maybe if we start where we ended and work backward." he said.

"I'm not into that kind of stuff." she replied. He looked at her oddly, but continued his thought.

"I mean, if we sort of... remember what happened starting with the end..."

"I think I know what you mean..." she replied. "Okay, well... Something... about wrath... and that was capitalized... and a pirate's grave... and a... coffin? That doesn't make much sense..."

"Well, that's all I can remember as well... perhaps when we get to Ruby Falls, we'll figure it out."

They arrived in Ruby Falls a few hours later and asked around if anyone knew anything about something called 'Wrath.' Eventually, they found someone to ask: a girl who was outside, planting plants and roses with many thorns out in a garden.

"Excuse me, but can you tell us if there's a place called 'Wrath' around here anywhere?" Catherine asked the brown-haired, blue-green-eyed girl who was dressed in a ragged old dress.

"Wrath?" she asked. "Well, I don't think there's a place here called that, but it does sound familiar..." the girl said politely. "Oh, yes! Wrath is--"

Suddenly, a woman from inside the girl's house called out to her strictly. "Celeste! What on earth are you doing?! You don't have time to waste! You still have to milk the cows and feed the chickens! And then you have to do the laundry!"

"I know, Marie!!" the girl yelled back at her. "I'm giving people directions!!" the girl looked back at Catherine and Jack. "Erm, anyway, Wrath is the name of a pirate who used to terrorize this town. Eventually, the military caught him and killed him. They buried him out in a cave in the woods. I'd take you there, but I... am not allowed to leave the house... But, if you go straight down this road, you'll come to a fork. Go right and follow that to the cave." the girl eyed Catherine. "That's a really pretty dress. I wish I could have a dress like that."

"Er, well, er, we could give you a few shillings for your help--" Jack began, but the girl interrupted.

"Oh, no, I don't need money." the girl replied. "I live here. That woman is my stepmother. She won't let me wear pretty things like that -- she says they don't belong on me. ...Pardon me if I ramble, but I don't get to talk to people often -- OW!" she cried, having cut her hand on a rose thorn. "Oh, I hate it when that happens." she grabbed a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped the blood off her hand; her hands were all cut up and looked like she'd been working hard everyday, doing more than she was used to. "Er, anyway, er, good luck in finding the cave. Have a nice day." she smiled politely and went back to her planting.

"Thank you, Miss." Jack said to her. She nodded her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. "You, er, wouldn't want to come with us, would you? You don' seem like you 'ave a very good life 'ere..."

"Oh, no, I can't leave. I can't do anything." the girl said, staring at the dirt on the ground. "I'd starve to death. I wish I could leave, but I cannot. Thank you for the offer, though."

Jack nodded and he and Catherine turned and headed up the road.

"How sad." Catherine said. "Poor girl... Well, she's not our problem."

"Yeah." Jack agreed and they continued walking down the road.

Eventually, they came to a fork in the road and went to the right. They followed it until they came to the cave. They entered and went to the very end of the torch-lit cave, and found a grave.

"'Peter Wrath.'" Catherine read off the gravestone. "'Notorious pirate and murderous killer.' How cheerful -- hope it says that on my grave. Yeesh!"

"So, we were supposed to... what?" Jack asked, kneeling next to the grave.

"It said something about a coffin..." Catherine replied. "So... I guess it's in the coffin... Well, go ahead, get to digging."

"Me?!" Jack asked incredulously. "Why me? Why don't we both dig?"

"Because I have pretty nails." she replied. "Please?" she begged, leaning over a bit, calling attention to her cleavage.

"Er..." Jack stuttered. "Well, I, er, I suppose I could... jus' because you're a woman..."

"So, what? That makes me incapable?!" she asked, and kicked him in the leg.

"OW!" he cried. "No! I'm jus' doin' a favor for a beautiful woman!"

"Oh, sorry." she offered. "Touchy subject."

"Apparently." he muttered, and began digging. Finally, he came to a coffin that wasn't a foot below the dirt. He opened it and it was empty... except for a piece of parchment. He pulled it out and Catherine snatched it out of his hand. She unrolled it and read it aloud.

" '_Another clue, was it difficult to find? Now you'll have to solve a clue of another kind. Old Montgomery Foxx, he knows how to fix the locks. He's going to tell you what you need to know, back to Tortuga is where you must go._'" Catherine paused. "Montgomery Foxx? Who the hell is that?" she asked.

"Guess 'e lives in Tortuga." Jack said.

"How very genius of you to notice." she replied sarcastically and stuck the clue in her purse. "Okay, well, let's go."

Jack nodded and they began to exit the cave. Just as they left, they were ambushed by 8 of Boyens's crew members! Jack pulled out his sword to fight, and Catherine backed up, pulling out two pistols. Jack fenced with several men, and Catherine shot two of them. She pulled out two more guns and shot two more men. Jack fenced with four of the men with extreme difficulty as Catherine pulled out two guns and shot two of the men. She pulled out her last gun and shot one more of the men. Jack fenced with the remaining man as Boyens walked up. He walked calmly over to Catherine.

'Damn... I don't have any more guns... and no time to reload...' she thought, putting her gun away as she had done the others.

"Catherine, how are you doing?" Boyens asked.

"I'm doing dandy, just dandy, and you?" she asked.

"Well, I'd be doing a lot better if I could get the next clue." he told her.

"Is that so?" she asked.

"Yes, and I would guess that you have it."

"Wow, now, _that_ is amazing brainpower." she said sarcastically. He started to walk towards her and began to unsheathe his sword. "Now, you wouldn't fight someone who is unarmed, would you? Only a coward would do that."

He looked at her and snorted. "I suppose so. Here." he pulled out a sword and held it out to Catherine.

"Swords are so... safe. It's much more brave to fistfight." He raised his eyebrows, but nodded. He removed his swords and tossed them aside. Just then, Jack finished his fight and began to attack Boyens. "Jack, stop!" she ordered. "This is personal. Besides, I can handle myself. You know I'm a pretty strong girl."

He kept himself from saying a terrible remark, even though it seemed that was exactly what she was referring to.

She took a stance and put up her fists; so did Boyens.

"I'll let you have the first punch." Boyens said. "Since you're a woman."

She narrowed her eyes and moved closer to him, fists still up. "Yeah, we're better." she said and punched him hard in the face. He recoiled, but put up his fists again, now angered. He threw a punch at her, but she ducked and dodged it. Just then, she elbowed him in the stomach and punched him in the face. She kicked him in the stomach and he fell over, wincing in pain.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Loser." she said to Boyens, turning her nose up at him. "Come on, Jack, let's go. I don't feel like killing anyone else."

Not being the opportune moment, they left the cave grounds and headed back to the ship. They boarded it, and sailed off toward Tortuga.

Well, yeah. Okay, that's it! Hope you enjoyed it. One thing I have to say is that I made a point that this is an alternate universe fic from my other two pirates fics. See, Jack is a jerk, and Celeste never had the courage to leave home. So that's why I mentioned Celeste. To show how much it would suck if they hadn't met. The whole point of this fic is that you can't live like Jack and Catherine. People like that don't fall in love -- they only care about themselves, so that also answers the question on if Jack and Catherine are going to fall in love. It's still going to be a good story, though, so please keep reading! Love you all!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Random thought of the moment:

I LOVE KENNY CHESNEY!


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